Friday, July 19, 2019

What is our calling in life: Friendship!



I was asked to preach recently with the theme, what is our calling in life? It all sounds rather grand, and it's the sort of thing that you'd expect a 'church minister' to talk about. But in truth it's a key question for us all. What are the things that makes life feel meaningful and good? What gets us out of bed in the morning? (For me this is basically nothing... I am NOT a morning person, I only feel called to more bed in the morning!!)

Of course our calling depends on the stage of life we are at. But I do think there are some principles. Strangely I would summarise these as fun and friendship! For instance a child at school is called to have fun. Now I realise that they also need to learn stuff, but relationships and friendships and family are often the key that unlocks fulfilment and potential. When kids aren't enjoying life, something is seriously wrong.  Indeed I would add that for all of us a massive part of our calling is to love and enjoy those around us. While I don't like some of the nuances that attend the phrase, 'charity begins at home' (it may begin there but for most it shouldn't end there!) certainly it is true that a big part of our calling is to love and enjoy our friendships, families and work colleagues. Doing stuff that we enjoy is great, but if we do stuff we enjoy and help someone else as well, isn't that a double blessing?

I suspect most would agree with this, but perhaps you think that this doesn't sound like a very 'grand' calling. Surely as a minister I should be 'saving' something or someone! Well in my view no one ever got saved without friendship. Friends, real friends help us to discover who we are and unlock our often hidden aptitudes. To cherish the people around you and invest in them becoming their best, is at the heart of our calling. If you want to think deeper then these ideas of friendship are mirrored in the best understandings of faith. The first statement from the Westminster Confession 1647, a very ancient 'confession' from my faith tradition, asks: 'What is the chief and highest end of man? Answer: Man’s chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever.' Obviously here the friendship and enjoyment is with God rather than with people, but it is definitely about enjoyment and relationship. I suspect for some readers the idea of 'enjoying' God may seem strange. This deeply saddens me. A bit like when people describe a friend or a person that we love in derogatory terms... We want to add, 'but you don't know them like I do.' The trouble is, those of us who claim to know God, haven't really presented God very favourably. We've often forgotten to enjoy life ourselves, like a marriage hanging together by the finger nails we've replaced joy and laughter and love with duties and a charade. It can look solid on the outside, but inside it's become empty.

The story I was asked to preach on about calling is the story of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Jesus the famous preacher and healer came to their house. They were thrilled, Mary sat like a disciple at his feet and listened to his stories, Martha on the other hand set to getting everything ready for dinner. Then she lost it and complained to Jesus. 'Tell my sister to help me' she said. But Jesus was pretty harsh with her, he said 'that she was always distracted by many things, only one thing is needed and Mary has chosen rightly.' (Spoiler alert... Later on when their brother Lazarus dies... The roles are almost reversed and Martha is the one who shows faith.)

So what does Jesus mean by the 'one thing that is needed?' I suspect he means friendship with God. Mary was looking for this, Martha was just busy and so missed an opportunity. At another time Jesus summed up all Jewish teaching and rules by saying Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbour as yourself. What he was saying was, a relationship with God and a kindness towards others, is the place to start... That's the reason we clean the house or share our food, so that we can enjoy the company. Not so we look good on the outside.

I realise some struggle to understand and grasp the whole relationship with God idea. I suppose that is understandable, especially when we have often painted God in such an unfriendly light. However, I argue that we discover our true calling in radical friendship. Perhaps if I paint friendship with God, as friendship with the world he has made, some will find that easier. We discover ourselves when we offer friendship to whatever and whoever God places in front of us, especially when that friendship takes on the form of going the extra mile, or turning the other cheek, or dancing with joy at a beautiful sunset, or choosing to live more gently in our world.

So discover your calling in life by developing your friendships.. Enjoy them, cherish them, be interested in them. What better time to do that than over the summer. Why not go the extra mile and invite someone round, share a drink, enjoy a few laughs. If you know someone isolated or lonely pop over or send a card, and dare I say it, have a think is their something that you can enjoy about God or his wonderful world... If so... Enjoy it!
Stephen Newell